So freaking messed up that I'd even ditch my Christmas plans for some time alone.
& don't even get close to me, I wouldn't want anyone to rub me on the wrong side.
(Now, screw it. I can't find any better word in my vocabulary bank esp without resorting to expletives). Just get the hell out of my sight for now, bye.

People these days just make apathy sounds like, just another simple cup of apple tea.

Not yet the time to say I can't, not the more so to wrap it up. No matter how badly screwed up the start to everything was, I'll be making sure it'll end up finished, beautifully.

Head versus heart. Make or break. Tell me more.

Idk, I really dk..

I'd say it's worth it, the sores and aches this time. So obscure, as the erosion of time almost erased any possibilities of a recovery. But now, I could almost hear every single pulsation of the heart within me, each beat almost ready to burst to life. Break, insecurities, temporal satisfaction. I'm ready to fight for what I have.

We'll break the silence of the night,
without even switching on a light.
Just the remote, me and you
On the couch, I'll make the kill.
Slightly above my belly you lay,
sweet pleasures we had to hide when it's day.
Brightly coloured sleeping pills,
marshmallows, that I'll feed you with, sweet love.
We'd gladly die of love's sweetness overdose.

Heartwrenching. It really felt as though my insides were twisted and mashed up. These two years really brought me closer to reality. So dark, so am I too close for comfort?

I'll bridge the chasms,
conceal the recluse within.
Penetrate my stratosphere, I'm open
closed, you won't get your hands on anything.
Nothing closer, at all.

Constricted, restricted
Now I'm choking, asphyxiating.
Not autoerotic asphyxiation this time round,
dirty thoughts should be out with
you in my mind now.
But,

Sometimes it would just be connecting the dots,
from your polka-dotted black velvet dress.
Yet at other times, I'll be dreaming, dazing
mauvais rêve.
Whose shoulders will your dainty head rest on,
Surely it wouldn't be mine.
That's all I need to know.

A huge step closer to happiness! :)

You'll drive me to a corner and whip a confession out of me.
A confession that I'd not bother to hide at all,
though an aboveboard confession would be impossible to extort.
There, duct tape to silence my pleadings
"Please don't hurt me, anymore".

I'd have expected a closure from you, but you didn't.
I'd have expected a closure from her, but she didn't.
I'd have expected a closure from him, he didn't
Whoever said that there must be a closure for everything
like in the movies,
well not all movies do, I guess.

I don't know if thats just me or what, but I'd hated completeness
for the most minuscule of details
Anything less that could make me a human,
Anymore and I'll be no different from an android.

I could just pretend that's just what I wanted,
Peeling off layers off different skins.
Yet right now I'm subjugated,
Now that you're no longer in
me, of flashbacks we once shared. Girl,
you twirl my world around your fingers.
As quickly as I slipped into your warmth,
how easily you slipped, out of my comfort
Out of my reach. Over and yet,
I'll be catching your scent by my pillowbed,
Up till now till this very date.

My heart is in you
where you go, you carry me.

The atmosphere was none too stale now. The metallic luster of the apparatus, superimposed with bold red marks made by her blood were strewn all over the surgical tray. This was the debt she's destined to pay, long decided anatomically since birth. The battle that she's fighting inside, was just a door way from another dimension of tranquility. Through the opaque blue screens, I could only trace the fading silhouettes beneath. I felt a reassuring pat came up my back, but i couldn't care less. My vision was transfixed upon the green light above. Operation in progress. Minutes later, the entry was clear. As the lights dimmed away, I made my way in. The past nine months was definitely accelerated in comparison to this one hour, I felt all powerless and almost superfluous. The doctor held it across at chest level. To me. Its body was covered in blood and goo, its umbilical cord hung down from between his legs. Yet, something was wrong. It lay, fazed and motionless above the doctor's latex gloves. The deathly silence wasn't what I expected, at all. I rubbed its forehead with my thumb, steeling myself for what is to come. "Both of them are fine, but I'm afraid he's.."

We're feeding our thoughts with arsenic,
Now it's breeding nightmares, how ironic.