And I've got money in my ear;
*ka ching* *ka ching*
But it made no cents.

Am I to be in due time, a resigned maestro by the full length windowpane. As a mirror reflecting the tumultuous crashing waves of life, and the crescendo of thunder and lightning flashes on the other side of the glass?

There was this little bird that I really liked;



I held it so tight,
A warm waterbag.
So soft yet exposed. So vulnerable
I had thought it
Loved me too;
but
it put up
a Fight






busted lungs. That
little wreck of fluff
and, torn feathers.

It is true no one can't survive without someone else. Yet, its terrifying to deal with the permanence of a loss. The candles on your birthday cake, dying off by itself. One by one; hypnotizing. But you haven't made your wish. All thats left, just empty walls in your heart. And you grope around aimlessly in the pitch dark void- trapping yourself in utter, desolate misery.

If it's a broken part, replace it.
But, if it's a broken arm then brace it.
If it's a broken heart then, face it.

What are you, if you've lost hope to live out your dreams?
And settling for the second best, in contentment that at least someone else is currently living out these dreams of yours for you.

What I do want to confess to specially you, ten years beforehand; would you accept my entirety, in nothing less than all wholehearted truth? Would I hurt you, if I let you in- Or would karma bite me ugly if I bare it full out to you, holding high hopes that you'd embrace me, my very own brainchild of imperfection. I just want to be truthful, in complete honesty with the least of an extortion from you. But would you accept me for who I am; what I used to be, who I truly am now and what I will eventually become? Perfect they say; that'll never be me all right. But everyday, everyday I keep trying.

One would not realize the true diamond thats hidden beneath the Pandora's Box- Hope, Love, Understanding, Trust and Joy. That given, if one's overwhelmed by the power of truth one longs to hear, but never could they control the very beast they had created. Epiphany? That'll only come when you make your choice to see the beauty in the ugliest.

Everyone is beautiful on the inside. No matter the scars on your face. No matter the cleft from your past. These rifts will close up by themselves through eyes that still can see. They say lost generation, I would say there just isn't enough people to this day that'll live out their moral courage rather than succumb to the conformation of what ought to be politically right. You deserve hope- that very strength to not just pull you out from nightmares you've been living out daily, but also the courage to continue loving that particular somebody whom you've neglected for the longest of time- Yourself.

Now I'm asking myself, what is love again?

Usually I strained to read the world blurry, in my
grey cell. Confined. I know the flies by name
By now. Not till, Corrida De Toros I could see
blood. I see red, splatters; smeared. I let out a
Grunt- I know, these handlers can't handle my
Handles. I could show them love alright..
Above, the crowd let out frightful shrieks-
A mangled mess. My mangled heart. As they lay
Choppers up my back. I gave a final pant and fell.
Treat love like a game. You play. Yet one day if
You die for the game you love. You pay.

Please, please;
Please don't take my sunshine away..

Everything about you was simply beautiful
Yet my regret, I couldn't put it perfect,
in words to be admired.
Beneath the eyes that used to contain love so ever pure
She lost it one day, when she let that boy into her life.

Yet girl, don't look back at all your past that hurt
You'll lose yourself the way how Lot's wife lost herself;
Future full of hope, if only she'd set her eyes in front
Hey girl, refrain,
Don't carry the world on your shoulders, you'll feel better
if you learn to let it go.

:*

全世界的人不知道,我不在乎付出多少..

Being sane does not necessary equate to thinking politically right. We're all like mice running in a rat race; the only means of eschewing from the course of manipulation when we fail to see the cheese in the race- we cut life short. Life's quest for perfection had always been the issue of flawlessness in oneself. No means of repudiating the science of life that held everything together since life form just even began. By negotiating for rights to societal emancipation, you'd be sticking out like a sore thumb a black mouse would be amongst other white mice. Yet, nobody speaks of a perfect balance in life though the innate being in all of us yearn for it.

Desires craved and fulfilled, the only naysayer; possibly one that doesn't even exist, one that's conspicuously known for sitting in the dark, isolated corner of the room. Watching your every move.

What is it about intimacy that makes it so very disturbing?

Sometimes good things fall apart, so that better things can be pieced together

Ball of thread tumbling, down a hill
Unfurling a colorful web of mess
Often within simplicity lies;
Authenticity.

Vindication; by what, by who?
To say whats right, whats not
Often within randomness lies;
Indescribability.